


Things We're NOT Allowed To Do

by RachelCastro



Category: Transformers (Bay Movies)
Genre: 'Not allowed' is used a lot, Bumblebee/Maggie Madsen - Freeform, Disasters, Explosions, F/M, Hilarious at Times, M/M, Optimus Prime IS badass, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Rules, Sam Whitwicky/Mikaela Banes, Texting, William Lennox/Sarah Lennox - Freeform, breaking rules, entertaining, for fun, suggested Lennox/Ironhide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 17:48:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5880040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachelCastro/pseuds/RachelCastro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's official the humans are insane and the Autobots and Decepticons are no help whatsoever....</p><p>WHO LIT OPTIMUS ON FIRE?!!!!</p><p>Rule 34. Sam and Bumblebee are not allowed to mess around with fire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things We're NOT Allowed To Do

* * *

 

The Autobot Command Staff **(Optimus, Ratchet, Prowl, Jazz, and Elita One)** have decided to make a list of rules following this month's various incidents. You are allowed to make comments below the rules, but please only make necessary comments... oh and you idiot twins are FORBIDDEN Ifrom writing ANY comments below

**-Ratchet**

* * *

 

 **Rule 1.** Bumblebee and Mikaela. Just because because you two dislike Agent Simmons that does not mean you get to drop by for a 'visit' and have Bumblebee lubricate all over him again.

 

  **Rule 2.**  Sam it is NOT a good idea to sneak up behind a bot and yell 'THE CANADIANS ARE COMING! THE CANADIANS ARE COMING!'

(Poor Bumblebee still looks behind his back every few seconds) - Maggie

 

  **Rule 3.** Sideswipe and Sunstreaker are not allowed to babysit Annabelle EVER again.

(Lennox and Sarah almost tore half of the country apart searching for their baby girl) - Ironhide

(Let's all thank Primus, Maggie found her in Las Vegas ... How a six year old ended up in Las Vegas we still don't know) - Wheeljack

(Let me tell you. The twins had a lot of 'fun' answering to Annabelle's very, very angry parents) - Jazz

 

  **Rule 4.** Sam is not allowed to show Bumblebee the movie "Old Yeller" ever again.

(We still cant get him to stop crying whenever he see's a dog) - Wheeljack

 

  **Rule 5.** Ironhide and Lennox are not allowed to laugh maniacally while shooting the Decepticons.

(Thanks to you idiots, no one's seen Barricade in weeks - Ratchet

 

  **Rule 6.** Maggie and Glen are not allowed to steal classified information OR try to hack into the Pentagon for "fun."

(Just because you two got away with it once doesn't mean you'll get away with it twice) - Elita One

 

  **Rule 7.** Epps and Jazz are not allowed to play music at 3:00 in the morning.

(Unless you want to get hit with a wrench) - Ratchet

 

  **Rule 8.** Whoever thought showing "Star Wars" to the Terror Twins was a good idea WILL pay the ultimate price.

(These were Ratchet's exact words) - Jazz

 

  **Rule 9.** Lennox is not allowed to play the Darth Vader theme when Megatron arrives on the battlefield.

(He takes great offence to being compared with a 'fleshling') - Prowl

 

  **Rule 10.**  Lennox and Epps are not permitted to say 'Who dat? Who dat?' whenever someone new arrives.

 

  **Rule 11.** If Skids and Mudflap attempt to hide Ratchet's wrenches again they WILL die.

(Pathetic) - Chromia

 (And hiding behind Optimus Prime WON'T help you) - Ratchet

 

 **Rule 12.** Sam, Skids, Mudflap, and ESPECIALLY Leo If you ever get on Mikaela's nerves, kiss your life goodbye.

REMINDER: Only Wheelie has ever gotten away with getting on her nerves. 

 

 **Rule 13.** Also a WARNING: If you ever call Ironhide an 'ugly monkey' he WILL kill you.

(This goes especially for Bee, Sam, and the Terror Twins) - Prowl

 

  **Rule 14.** Sunstreaker and Sideswipe stop painting Ironhide pink! No matter how funny it is Ratchet no longer feels like putting you idiots back together.

(Neither do I) - Mikaela 

 

  **Rule 15.** No matter how much it may seem like Lennox and Ironhide are in a relationship DO NOT tell them that to their faces.

(Unless you want Ironhide's cannons in your face and a long lecture from Will about how he's 'faithful' to Sarah) - Epps

 

  **R** **ule 16.** Wheelie will not allowed to introduce Brains to any websites (similar to YouTube) ever again.

(The humans do not need to know any information about an alien shower routine, whatsoever) - Elita One

 

  **Rule 17.** Bumblebee is not allowed to use his robot sized skates in the hallways.

(You run into way to MANY things and people) - Maggie

(Including Optimus and Ratchet. Which by the way, was utterly hilarious) - Jazz

 

  **Rule 18.** Jazz and Epps are never allowed in the kitchen again.

(Blowing up half of the Autobot base has made 1st place on the 'Worst Things That Has Ever Happened This Week' list) - Wheeljack

 

  **Rule 19.** Maggie, Arcee, Mikaela, Chromia, and Elita are not allowed to have a Girls Night Out.

(Still trying to explain why all of of Mikaela and Maggie's ex-boyfriend's are currently taking therapy classes to Secretary John Keller - Jazz

(Oh yeah... like that's going to stop us) - Chromia

 

  **Rule 20.** Sam, Glen, and Leo are not allowed to make an alien sighting websites and scare half of the nation with the 'Ninja Turtle look-a-like aliens' rumors.

(Something else we're trying to explain to Keller) - Jazz

 

  **Rule 21.** Maggie and Bumblebee for the love of Primus.... STOP FLIRTING! We know you two are attracted to each other, but calling each other unbelievably affectionate and rather sickening cheesy nicknames is not permitted.

(There are still Autobots, humans, AND Decepticons alike who are not used to human/robot relationships) - Prowl

 

  **Rule 22.** Playing the robot version of Football is now a forever banned.

(Last time I heard NASA is still trying to figure out how a football ended up in space) - Bumblebee

(It's called lobbing you dumbasses)- Arcee 

 

 **Rule 23.** Sideswipe and Sunstreaker stop asking questions you already know the answer to.

(Asking Ratchet "What is interfacing?" has to be the dumbest thing you two have EVER done) - Ironhide

 

 **Rule 24.** Asking the same question to Optimus is also not permitted.

(But you have to admit that was pretty cool. I think that's the first time anyone's ever seen Prime crash!) - Bumblebee

(Bumblebee....) - Optimus 

 

 **Rule 25.** Bumblebee! Maggie! Stop flirting!

 

 **Rule 26.** Just because Prowl's new to Earth doesn't mean he doesn't know what 'sex' is.

(You idiotic twins are so dead) - Arcee

 

 **Rule 27.** Sam and Leo stop getting Skids and Mudflap to pretend to be animatronics at Disney Land.

 

 **Rule 28.** Sam stop trying to get your dog to lubricate on Ironhide every time you bring him over.

 

 **Rule 29.** Ironhide stop trying to make a petition to get rid of dogs permanently. No one's going to sign it.

(Well... no one that isn't Chromia) - Jazz

 

 **Rule 30.** Bumblebee if you don't stop whining about how Ladybug and Cat Noir need to get together, we'll have no choice but to ban 'Miraculous Ladybug'.

(Besides, it's not like you've gotten together with Maggie already) - Sam

 

 **Rule 31.** Come on Will! My Little Pony' is not out to corrupt your daughter.

(Miraculous Ladybug on the other hand....) - Sam

 

 **Rule 32.** Glen and Leo. It's just about time to accept that neither of you aregood at flirting so don't even try.

(I still can't believe you were stupid enough to go after Chromia with Ironhide standing right next to her) - Mikaela 

(I'm honestly surprised that their still alive)- Wheeljack

(Only because Chromia saved their sorry asses at the last minute!) - Bumblebee 

 

 **Rule 33.** Twins just because we banned you from painting Ironhide pink doesn't mean you move on to Prowl.

(The Brig is feeling a little lonely....)  - Prowl

 

* * *

**Incoming Message...**

From: SIC Prowl

To: Everyone

Who the frag.... LIT OPTIMUS ON FIRE?!!!!

* * *

 

 

 **Rule 34.**  Sam and Bumblebee are not allowed to mess around with fire.

(Optimus might forgive you for the incident, but Ratchet sure as hell won't) - Epps

 

 **Rule 35.** Wheelie and Brains neither of you can fly. Stop trying.

(Whoever showed those two morons the movie 'Dumbo' report to Prowl's office. Now.) - Ratchet

 

 **Rule 36.** Bee, Ironhide, Jazz, and Jolt stop trying to scare the hell out of Sam's mom every night you take him out for joyrides.

(Do you guys have an ideas how freaky it is to know your mom is apparently on good terms with over half of the police officers in the neighborhood because of how many time she's called them about you guys!) - Sam 

(Jolt I know this is the first time you've had your name on the rules list, but if I see your name on here again....) - Ratchet

 

 **Rule 37.** For everyone and everybot stop cursing in front of Annabelle.

(Unless you want to deal with me) - Lennox 

 

 **Rule 38.** Optimus we know you've had a rough week, being set on fire and all... but it is not okay to call Megatron a 'fuckin son of a useless glitch!' during battle. 

(Best day of my life) - Ironhide

(Why is this even on the list? Optimus was totally badass) - Sideswipe

(Man, y'all should have seen the look on Megatron's face! It. Was. PRICELESS!) - Epps

 

* * *

 

"SIDESWIPE! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT WRITING COMMENTS?!!!"

 

* * *

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm doing this for fun and because I'm a Transformers fan :) I think that if Michael Bay would have kept the original cast of humans and robots the Transformers movies would have been a little more interesting I'm going to make it up to 100 rules and a couple of texting chapters, but tell me if I should go farther then 100 rules. Till next time! :)


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